


That's Not My Name!

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: Adventures of The Crazy [17]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Awkward Sexual Situations, Desk Sex, Embarrassment, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Genius Kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:50:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4794965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brienne takes a five year old Arthur to see his Grandfather at Lannister Inc, but when Brienne walks into Jaime's office to see Daven and Fair Walda Frey, how will she explain the situation to Arthur, who's a smart kid as it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Not My Name!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JustAGirl24](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAGirl24/gifts).



> Well, JustAGirl24 made this comment on "Why Don't YOU Do It Then?" well... part of the comment, here.
> 
> "The secretaries would coo over him and call him Artie, and Tywin would fire them on the spot for butchering his grandson's name. Oh yes."
> 
> And this fic was born. LOL! So I hope everyone enjoys. And remember, this is NOT meant to be taken seriously. It's called crack for a reason. LOL!

That’s Not My Name!

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Brienne was glad that was over. At five years of age, Arthur was deeply stubborn. He hated going to the dentists. He wasn’t afraid of the dentist, he just hated going. But today he had been well behaved.

“Arthur, would you like to go to the park?” Brienne offered. It was supposed to be a reward for his good behaviour. Arthur blinked and looked at Brienne, as though he were confused why she would ask such a question. Brienne sighed as Arthur looked at her with an almost imperial gaze.

“I want to go and visit grandfather.” Arthur stated, with all the assurance and firmness she was sure existed in Tywin Lannister, at any rate. Brienne wanted to refuse. She had to pick up Daena from playgroup in two hours. But Arthur had behaved at the dentists, and she knew he would remain sullen for the rest of the day if she refused. Not that Brienne gave in to Arthur’s demands. Arthur was not a spoiled child. But Brienne felt he deserved a reward for his good behaviour, so they headed towards Lannister Inc. Arthur held on to Brienne’s hand, resolutely. He had once told his mother that it was his duty to hold on to her hand so that she didn’t get lost, with all the certainty and honesty that a small child can display. Brienne had to admit that that was one of those moments that she knew Arthur _did_ actually _love_ her. He rarely showed love to anyone. He didn’t see it as logical, though none of them knew why.

When they arrived at Lannister Inc, Arthur ran ahead to the lift and pressed the button. Brienne gave an awkward smile to the security guard on duty as the lift arrived and Arthur ran inside. Brienne stepped in and realised that Joffrey was there.

“Joffrey?” Brienne greeted.

“Hello Joffrey.” Arthur piped up.

“Aunt Brienne? Arthur?” Joffrey greeted the boy. Arthur smiled up at Joffrey, and Joffrey merely patted him on the head. “I have to go. I’m supposed to be meeting with Flement Brax to discuss this new contract between our businesses. Uncle Tyrion is meeting me there. He had to deal with a bust up between Margaery and Ellaria Sand. Something about Genna and Dorea fighting in the school playground started it off apparently.” Joffrey said. Brienne felt her eyes widening.

“Oh. I missed it.” Arthur said, almost nonchalantly, as though he’d missed an appointment. Brienne looked down at Arthur, who looked up at his mother. “Well, Dorea was being very rude to Genna. I’m glad Genna hit her.” Arthur said firmly. If there was anyone that Arthur was protective of in the world, it was his cousin Genna and his little sister Daena. Any affection he showed was usually to them. Brienne said goodbye to Joffrey and then the lift was heading up towards the top floor. Arthur looked up at Brienne then. “Mother?” Arthur asked softly.

“Yes Arthur?” Brienne replied. Arthur looked a little nervous, as he stared at his feet for a moment. His brilliant green eyes stared up at her after that. Brienne always noted how much Arthur looked like Jaime in these moments. His wavy, golden hair falling over his eyes, as he brushed his fringe out of his face nervously, and looked to be thinking before he asked his mother any questions at all.

“Do you think I should have hit Dorea first?” Arthur asked. Brienne blinked.

“Why do you ask that sweetie?” Brienne asked. Arthur looked up at Brienne still, his green eyes fixed on her.

“Well, Grandfather always says that we must protect our family. But the teacher said, one time, when Ralph Spicer hit Eleanor Clegane, that boys aren’t supposed to hit girls. But after Ralph hit Eleanor, her cousin Nymeria hit him. So what should I do if I want to protect Genna?” Arthur asked. The lift was going to the top floor still and Brienne crouched and wrapped Arthur up in her arms. Arthur looked slightly confused, but put his arms around his mother’s neck.

“Arthur, it’s true that boys shouldn’t hit girls. It’s not very nice. So even though Dorea might have been mean to Genna, you shouldn’t hit Dorea. Genna and Dorea are equal, and the same age, and they had a fight. If a boy was being mean to Genna, then you could hit him. But hitting someone shouldn’t be the first thing you do sweetie. Hitting isn’t always the right thing to do.” Brienne said. Arthur nodded.

“Is this why we’re hugging?” Arthur asked. Brienne laughed, as she squeezed Arthur one last time before setting him down.

“No. I hugged you because what you said was very sweet, my Arthur. I’m glad you want to protect your little cousin, Genna.” Brienne told him gently. Arthur still looked up quizzically at his mother.

“Is this like when Grandfather says that women get overcome with emotions?” Arthur asked. Brienne frowned.

“Arthur, men also get overcome by emotions. It’s not just girls, boys do too. When did Grandfather say this to you?” Brienne asked. Arthur grinned as the lift doors opened.

“He didn’t say it to me. He said it to Uncle Tyrion last week, because Aunt Margaery was very upset. She’s got really big lately. But I don’t want to tell her, because I think she will be very sad.” Arthur replied. Brienne and Arthur walked down the corridor, heading for Jaime’s office first.

“You do remember when I told you that Aunt Margaery is having a baby, don’t you Arthur?” Brienne asked. Arthur nodded.

“Yes. Is that what happens when a baby is coming?” Arthur asked. Brienne wanted to hit her head against a wall. Arthur was endlessly full of questions.

“Yes Arthur. That’s what happens. But still, it’s not very nice to tell Aunt Margaery that she’s getting big.” Brienne told him. Arthur nodded his understanding.

“Okay mother.” Arthur agreed. Brienne walked into Jaime’s office, only to see something she never expected to see. One of the secretaries, Walda Frey, and Daven, Jaime’s cousin, were... not in the best position to be in, in front of a young child. Brienne gasped, as she placed a hand over Arthur’s eyes. She couldn’t believe that Daven was having sex with someone on her husband’s desk. The worst part of it, was that it was ‘Fair Walda’ Frey. Which just made it all the more shocking for Brienne. Of course, it wasn’t that they were having sex at work. It wasn’t like she and Jaime hadn’t... experimented, at the office before now. Brienne wasn’t a hypocrite. She wasn’t upset that Daven was having sex with a work colleague. It was the fact that they were in _Jaime’s_ office rather than Daven’s, and that Arthur was there to witness it all. Brienne was horrified.

“What are the two of you doing here in Jaime’s office?” Brienne yelled angrily. She was more angry at what Arthur may or may not have seen, rather than the act itself. Daven and Walda both looked at Brienne. Daven with a mortified sense of horror, Walda with a nonchalant look, and then both saw Arthur. Daven turned pale. Walda seemed completely unfazed.

“Mother? Why are you covering my eyes? I want to see! What are they doing Mother?” Arthur exclaimed, his voice laced with curiosity. Brienne was completely embarrassed, her face turning bright red.

“Arthur, this is not something that’s appropriate for you to see.” Brienne said sternly. Arthur did not seem to want to accept that but didn’t argue. He knew his mother’s stern voice meant that there was no arguments. That was when Jaime came in.

“What is....?” Jaime trailed off, his own eyes wide, as he realised exactly what was going on in front of his five year old son. “For crying out loud Daven! You have your own office for that! Or even a motel 6 would do!” Jaime yelled. He picked Arthur up swiftly, his hand covering Arthur’s eyes, then took him out of the room, so he couldn’t see or hear anything else. Brienne looked at Daven and Walda. Daven looked extremely embarrassed. Walda just shrugged, seemingly uncaring about the situation.

“It’s not like he’d never see anything like that. I mean it was bound to happen eventually.” Walda said. Daven was hastily trying to make himself presentable. Brienne glared at Walda.

“This isn’t a joke Walda. I’m not going to pretend that people hooking up, or having sex, in these offices, has never happened before. But the fact that you both decided to come up _here_ , to Jaime’s office, when the possibility of children walking in here is a hundred times more likely, _that_ is not appropriate or acceptable.” Brienne stated angrily. Walda didn’t look best pleased at Brienne dressing her down.

“Look, Brienne, just because you bagged yourself a Lannister husband and worked your way to the top, doesn’t make you any better than I am. We can’t all bag ourselves a rich Lannister husband to give us great jobs.” Walda stated. Brienne _knew_ what Walda was saying and was very tempted to launch herself at her and possibly cause fatal harm.

“Walda!” Daven exclaimed, looking irritated in that moment. He liked Brienne, and everyone knew that Brienne had earned the position she now held within the company. She’d held the position long before she married Jaime or even dated him. She’d been the Head Financial Manage for the company for years, with a whole team under her supervision, and she kept all the company finances in order. She had done since she started working at Lannister Inc, and that had been achieved before she’d become Jaime’s girlfriend, let alone before he put a ring on her finger. Walda was a secretary in Cersei’s department. She’d been a secretary for three years. Not that being a secretary was bad, but Brienne was furious that Walda would _dare_ to imply that Brienne only got her job by sleeping her way to it. That was when Tywin arrived, with Cersei in tow. Jaime was there too. Arthur, had obviously been left in Tywin’s office.

“For God’s sake, make yourselves decent. This company does have a certain reputation to uphold.” Tywin stated firmly. Daven was presentable, just doing up the last of his shirt buttons. Walda stood up from Jaime’s desk, righting her skirt, four of the buttons on her blouse were still undone, showing off a large amount of cleavage. They didn’t call her ‘Fair Walda’ for nothing apparently. Cersei looked very irritated.

“Walda, button up your blouse.” Cersei said coldly, looking rather angry. Walda did up two buttons.

“I don’t know what the big deal is. Little Artie didn’t see anything anyways.” Walda said.

“That’s not my name.” Brienne sighed as she saw that Arthur had obviously crept back. A child’s curiosity was a hard thing to stop.

“Artie’s a nickname kiddo.” Walda said. Arthur frowned at Walda, his green eyes glaring in the same way that his Grandfather was now glaring.

“My name is Arthur. Not Artie. Arthur.” Arthur said angrily.

“Damn! That kid needs to calm down. Artie? Arthur? What’s the difference?” Walda said.

“There _is_ a difference. My name is Arthur Lannister. If my name was Artie, then it wouldn’t be Arthur. Arthur and Artie are different.” Arthur said. He was trembling and Brienne wanted to stop this right now.

“What a silly little boy he is. You should take him to see a professional or something, Brienne.” Walda stated. Brienne wanted to slap Walda across the face, because these stupid comments of hers were not helping. Brienne knew where this might lead. The last time someone had tried to shorten Arthur’s name, he’d actually had a panic attack at the very idea of anyone calling him anything but Arthur. He only put up with being called ‘Sweetie’ by his mother or certain pleasantries from the people he was closest to. He couldn’t seem to handle anyone else trying to call him anything else but Arthur. Shortening his name was a high crime in Arthur’s eyes. Everyone knew this. Tywin had actually ordered all his employees to call Arthur by his name, and only his name, for this very reason.

“It’s Mrs Lannister to you, Walda.” Brienne spat out angrily, as she saw Arthur was getting more and more upset. Brienne picked Arthur up then. He wasn’t happy and squirmed a bit, but Brienne still held on to him, hoping to offset a panic attack. She could see Arthur’s face going pale and he was trembling. “It’s alright Arthur. We all know your name. Just calm down now.” Brienne told him gently. Arthur seemed to be trying to catch his breath and Brienne was worried that he would start to hyperventilate at any moment. “It’s alright Arthur. It’s alright. Let’s go to Grandfather’s office and you can have a red apple. I know he’s got some there especially for you.” Brienne told Arthur gently. Arthur was calming down. Cersei came over to Arthur then and gently stroked his hair.

“It’s alright Arthur. Don’t listen to her. She’s not important.” Cersei told him softly. Arthur nodded and leaned his head on Brienne’s shoulder, and wrapped his arms around her neck, holding on tightly and still trembling a little. This was one of the few times that Arthur would need the comfort of his mother or father. It was also one of the few times he would accept that comfort. He was still trembling slightly as he held on tightly to his mother, and Brienne rubbed soothing circles on his back. That was when there was another arrival at Jaime’s office. It was Bronn. He had a whole bunch of papers in his hands. It was obviously a report for Tyrion, but you had to pass Jaime’s office before you reached Tyrion’s own.

“What’s going on here?” Bronn asked. He looked a little confused. Arthur looked at Bronn and Bronn looked back, and Brienne could almost see when Bronn realised that Arthur wasn’t himself. “Hello Arthur. I heard you were going to the dentists today.” Bronn said to him. Arthur nodded, his eyes on Bronn. “Well, how about we go to your Grandfather’s office, and you can tell me about how brave you were. I bet you weren’t scared of that dentist. You being such a big boy now.” Bronn said. Arthur looked up at Brienne, who nodded to tell him it was okay. Bronn carefully took Arthur from Brienne. Arthur didn’t cling to Bronn like he did to his mother. But his hands were on Bronn’s shoulders, seeking the comfort of someone familiar, as Bronn walked off down the corridor, talking to Arthur about what a big young man he was becoming. Brienne turned to look at Walda, she was so furious she was shaking with anger.

“How dare you upset my son like that!” Brienne exclaimed angrily. She didn’t yell, but that was all the more frightening. Jaime made his way over to Brienne’s side, and placed his hands on her shoulders, drawing her back, and wrapping an arm around her, hoping to keep her calm. But Brienne could see that Jaime was also furious. Before either Jaime or Brienne could say anymore, Tywin glared at Walda. Then he looked at Daven.

“Daven, you and I will speak later about your behaviour. But I will make it quite clear that you will not be seeing this... woman... again. Whatever arrangement you’ve had with her is at an end. Find another woman to satisfy your needs. Go and wait outside my office.” Tywin stated. Daven nodded his understanding. Walda gaped like a fish out of water.

“Wait a second! You’re just going to accept that? Your Uncle tells you to jump and you say how high?” Walda yelled at Daven. Daven looked at Walda, his face full of anger.

“Actually, yes, yes I am. You and I were never a serious thing Walda, and after today...... you’ve offended my cousin, his wife, my uncle and my other cousin, who hired you in the first place. That’s not even to mention upsetting a five year old boy, who I happen to be quite fond of.” Daven said. Then he looked at Jaime and Brienne. “I am sorry that Arthur’s been upset. I’m sorry about all of this.” Daven said to Jaime and Brienne, before he left the office and disappeared, most likely to wait for Tywin, outside of his office, as ordered. No one messed with Tywin Lannister when he was in a bad mood. Well... no one with a brain did that. Walda seemingly didn’t seem to understand she was on thin ice.

“This is ridiculous! All because a kid freaked out over silliness.” Walda grumbled angrily. Tywin looked at Walda then, his eyes fixed on her, full of icy fury.

“You, Miss Frey, will clear your desk and hand in your access pass to security, and you will be gone from this building within the hour.” Tywin stated.

“What? For hooking up with your nephew? You can’t fire me for hooking up with your nephew!” Walda yelled.

“Actually, yes I can, and I am. You signed a contract, stating that you would not fraternise within the office. This is a contract that all the personal assistants and secretaries sign. Daven is neither a secretary nor a personal assistant. You however, are a secretary. That means you breeched your contract. Which therefore means that I can fire you. Which I am now doing. You will not be receiving a reference, nor will you be receiving severance pay, as you breeched your contract. I would suggest that you clear out and leave quietly, before I sue for today’s earnings, as you were clearly not working.” Tywin stated. His voice was deathly calm. Walda looked furious. She looked at Cersei. But Cersei was in no mood to attempt helping Walda Frey.

“You heard my father. He is the head of this company. You breeched your contract. So your job here is terminated.” Cersei said. Walda clenched her fists and stormed out of the office, looking murderous. But as soon as they all heard the lift arrive and heard Walda leave the floor, Tywin let loose a volley of curse words that none of them had ever thought they would hear coming from him.

“How _dare_ that Frey _harlot_ call my grandson Artie! How dare she! And how dare she imply there is something wrong with him!” Tywin ranted. Jaime and Brienne were both wide eyed and slack jawed as Tywin carried on ranting.

“Did you just fire someone because she shortened Arthur’s name and insulted him?” Brienne asked.

“She butchered my grandson’s name and implied he was mentally unstable. A Lannister always pays their debts.” Tywin stated coolly. Then he left the office, leaving Jaime, Cersei and Brienne alone. Cersei shrugged.

“I have told you before that father is going bonkers in his old age Jaime. You refuse to listen.” Cersei stated. Jaime snorted in amusement.

“That evil cow deserved to be fired.” Jaime stated. Cersei smirked.

“Oh yes, that is true. But mostly, for Father, it was about her being a bitch to Arthur. But if he had heard what she said to Brienne before he got here, he’d have been even more furious.” Cersei said.

“You came in with Tywin, how did you even hear what was going on?” Brienne asked.

“I heard, because I heard the start of the commotion and saw Jaime taking Arthur to Father’s office. So I thought I’d stand outside and listen to what was going on. I mean, if you had killed her, I wouldn’t have been able to stop you. I could at least say it was done under provocation.” Cersei said. Brienne blinked.

“I think, I should thank you for being nosy, for once.” Brienne stated. Cersei merely allowed a small smile to cross her face. Jaime stared at Brienne.

“What did that skanky bitch say to you?” Jaime asked. Brienne sighed, knowing that Jaime would soon be ranting like his father had been, only minutes ago.

“She implied that I got my position by sleeping my way to the top, and that I shouldn’t be judging her for doing the same, in basic terms.” Brienne said. Jaime growled angrily. Cersei looked between them.

“I think I’m going to go to Father’s office. It’s always fun to hear him tearing someone a new one. And someone will need to look after Arthur outside. I know Bronn the Babysitter is there, but I am his Aunt.” Cersei replied. Then she was gone. Jaime slammed his office door closed and looked at Brienne. His eyes so green, and full of anger, blazed. Then he pulled Brienne to him and branded a fiery kiss on her lips. It was fierce and Brienne wasn’t quite sure why. When Jaime finally allowed their lips to part for some air, he looked at Brienne, directly into her eyes.

“That bitch doesn’t know a fucking thing. You got this job by your fucking merits and your skills, not because of me. You’re far too fucking smart to need to sleep your way to the top of anywhere. If I’d fucking heard her... she’s lucky she’s a woman.” Jaime said angrily. “So don’t even bother giving that shit any thought Brienne. You’re a fucking warrior. You’re our fucking lead Financial manager, you head the whole finance department, manage our finances at this fucking company, then you go home and look after six crazy kids. There is no one who could do all that, but you. You’re like a real life fucking Superwoman.” Jaime said. Brienne could see that Jaime was angry, on her behalf, and she felt her heart melt at his kind words. The fact that he was trying to reassure her was one of the things she loved about him. He’d never let anyone say an unkind word to her in his presence.

“Jaime, I don’t do it alone. Well... not the kids. That’s a team effort. We’re a team.” Brienne told him gently, her hands cupping his face, tumbs gently caressing his cheekbones. Jaime shook his head.

“Don’t. Don’t make less of yourself. Yes, I help with the kids. But when Arthur has a panic attack, it’s you he turns to. When Arianne is tired, it’s you she curls up to. When one of the twins hurt themselves playing, it’s Mummy that they both call for. When Galladon is worried, it’s you he talks to. When Daena is sick, it’s you who sits up by her crib all night and looks after her. Then you still come here and work your ass off. You’re a fucking superhero, and anyone who tries to say any different is a fucking jealous cunt.” Jaime shot back. Brienne wrapped her arms around him, and kissed him, her kiss nowhere near as fierce as his, but sweeter for it.

“I love you too Jaime.” She said. They stood there, embracing for a little while, just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Well... yes, of course that. I love you, very much as a matter of fact. In fact, I love you more and more each day. If I wasn’t sure we might catch some disease from that desk, now that Daven decided to fuck Walda Frey on it, of all people, we wouldn’t just be standing here hugging. But I suppose it gives me a reason to get a new desk. After all, I’ll never use that one again.” Jaime said huskily. Brienne allowed a laugh to escape her then.

“Really Jaime? Weren’t we just horrified by what Arthur possibly witnessed here? Do you really think that Arthur won’t come looking for us sooner rather than later?” Brienne asked. “Not to mention it would be hypocritical of us to screw around in the office after we just bawled out Daven for doing the same.” Brienne added. Jaime laughed, then pulled Brienne closer, burying his face into the spot where Brienne’s neck met her shoulder. She felt him place a soft kiss on the exposed skin and Brienne felt an electric shock run through her, causing her to shudder.

“When the kids are in bed tonight, Mrs Lannister, we are so going to do it.” Jaime stated. Brienne snorted out another laugh.

“Jaime, you sound like a teenager.” Brienne stated.

“Oh I’ve got the stamina of a teenager, Brienne. Or did you forget? Maybe I should help you to remember exactly how much stamina I have.” Jaime said. Brienne blushed a bright red.

“Shut up with all the macho boasting. Let’s go and see if your father is finished tearing Daven a new one, and check on Arthur. I think he’s had enough excitement for one day. Besides which... I’m going to end up being late to pick up Daena from playgroup.” Brienne said. Jaime grinned at her.

“No you’re not. I text Margaery and asked her to pick up Daena. I thought it might be a good idea when I had to take Arthur to father’s office.” Jaime said. Brienne grinned.

“You see? Now this is why I married you. Sometimes you have good ideas.” Brienne said. Jaime just laughed as well, before both of them went to go and check on Arthur, like the good parents that they were.

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, so you reached the end? Good good! I hope this was enjoyed. I hope it made you laugh. Feel free to comment and let me know your thoughts. Abuse however, will not be tolerated. (nods) So... I hope you all have a good day and that this story made you happy. LOL! More will be coming up. Such as how Daena came along, and how Jaime and Brienne decide to prevent further pregnancies. Along with other things. If anyone has something they'd like to see happen in this series, feel free to ask. I don't bite. (nods)


End file.
